xox

[280112.1541]

boredom

It’s a sign that I’m done.  It’s not that I’m bored, it’s that there’s a lot of boredom out there.  Why is it so hard to turn the world off?  Why is it so hard to leave facebook behind if it’s really not doing it for me?  Being choosy is smart, why don’t I do what I do without explaining myself?

We have to enslave some part of ourselves to be part of this big old system, we all know that, freedom is high above us - not waiting for us.  What are we waiting for?

Positive affirmations are not going to get rid of all of the negativity - why should it? Who’s energy is it anyway?  Sure, we all have our own but how far has it gone and how far is it actually gonna go?

I’m starting to think ignorance isn’t really bliss anymore.

And I’m sick of keeping this place for boredom maintained like a bonsai tree.  It’s not my thing.

People actually like being bored, they like waiting and waiting because it’s exciting, “how will I be entertained this time.”  They only thing that keeps them from HATING boredom as much as I do is…money.

Is money bliss?

[071011.0108]

film

Memories are irreplacable, unlike film they are intangible and nearly translucent, no matter how much you talk about something in the past you will never be able to bring it back.  

There are two kind of memories in this world, the ones we make with our heart and the ones we make with the money we make.  Everyone has to make money, or die trying.

The kind of memories that we make with our heart are forever in the dark to everyone but ourselves, we can only share so much of ourselves no matter how much time we spend with each other - that’s what we learn.  No two people can ever share a memory the same way.

And then there’s film.  Film is deceiving, it can mean anything and everything and turn around on you to become a lie - like the media.  But it’s a beautiful lie and a beautiful life because you can see what you want and ignore what you don’t want.

Film can be manipulated and influenced as can we.  It’s like a dream, frames and frames of the only possible reality flipped upside down and reversed until only the order has changed.  It can also be a nightmare.

Now that we have digital photography it’s as easy as clicking the delete button to move on from people we don’t want to remember.

When they say forgive and forget, forgiving is human nature but sometimes the forgetting part is too hard - sometimes pictures say too many thousands of words that only enhance our ability to remember those moments.

Film is priceless, no two pixels will ever be the same except your own pixels in your memory once you have seen them.

According to dictionary.com:

 

film

 [film]    OriginLike this word?    

film

  [film]  Show IPAnoun1.a thin layer or coating: a film of grease on a plate.2.a thin sheet of any material: a film of ice.3.a thin skin or membrane.4.a delicate web of filaments or fine threads.5.a thin haze, blur, or mist.
 

Film is like money, memory is like the heart.

 
What would we discover if we were to graduate from our passion for memories?

 Imagine a world where film was part of our memory and pictures were dreams

 And you didn’t need machines to develop the captivating frames of your genius

Or have to wait to share proof of your memories while they process in time…

We are on our way to honoring our hearts.  Some will dishonor theirs.

But we all learn.

Film has taught us the difference between happiness and sorrow, laughter and tears

It’s a phenomena no matter how you look at it, even if you could care less

Whether digital or analogue it has risen like flowers and settled like ashes and dust

It has led us to each other in this world that we have barely even touched 

Memories merge with magic, film freezes the distant fog

[310511.0216]

i have two eyes

you now have four…six…no eight…fuck - you have so many!

[310511.0213]

what you get

it’s this or whatever you can think of yourself 

xox

[140511.0350]

sorry…

isn’t good enough - i’m taking my power back

[140511.0348]

xox

(Source: youtube.com)

[140511.0345]

(Source: heatherbybee)

(see in high-res)

// from heatherbybee

[140511.0344]

i will

never settle

[080511.1944]

…but

most of all i love the waiting for Mizz Ballet Teacher to arrive, holding the camera like it’s made of pure gold while my daughter is bouncing on her slippers across from her reflection…the fact that the view finder is stuck between two sides of a teeny window frame, the possibility of having to be a seriously vain mother in order to get good pictures when this is all done and worth it, the essence of every snapshot clearly favoring me when it comes to forming an opinion of just how much ballet improves a child’s personality…the color behind the lens i don’t see but feel…the world of inspiration in one single room worth $12 an hour…the fact that i have to lodge my camera again against a piece of plexi-glass?  oh yeah man, squishing my eyes between the frame?  all that you mean?  that par?  priceless.  jesus christ, for everything else there’s God.

[080511.1900]

flickr

i love using flickr for making painting like pictures out of digital photography, it feels good to do what i want with flickr.